parkle, nuggu and growing up on a lake

I recently heard a public radio segment about childhood myths that we carry into adulthood. The premise was that, as we reach adulthood, we lose most of our childhood myths because we figure out certain beliefs to be false (Santa, the Easter bunny) but sometimes a belief is obscure enough that it never has the opportunity to be disproved, in which case it might just sneak through to adulthood. One of the callers described how he had always believed a road crossing was a “cross zing” because you were supposed to “zing” across quickly. Another woman called in to describe how, during a discussion about endangered species, her friends around the keg became embarrassingly silent when she asked, “Are unicorns extinct or just endangered?” I’m sure we all have had moments like this. When I was two, I called throwing up “’parkling” because I thought it looked sparkly and I couldn’t pronounce the letter “s”. I was an adult before I learned that wasn’t a word that people outside of my family would recognize

Today, my cousin updated her Facebook status to “is excited to swim in a Vermont river” and, flooded with a wave of nostalgia, it occurred to me that the belief that everyone shared a country childhood similar to mine - one filled with afternoons on the lake in a boat, swims in the gorge, hikes along trails only minutes from my house, the freedom to spend hours in the woods building forts with my sister - is another “myth” that I seem to have carried into adulthood. To me, childhood, freedom and nature might as well be synonyms, as most of my childhood memories involve playing outdoors with no parents in sight. When I talked to friends in high school and college, I was continually surprised by the variation in everyone’s childhood memories. It still surprises me when Toby talks about memories from his own childhood that are so different from mine. {As I also was surprised that you don’t actually have to endure frozen toes and frostbitten cheeks in January. There are some childhood memories I gladly release!}

And yet, here I am raising city girls. As they get older, it occurs to me more and more that they are not having the childhood that I had. I think about diving off the raft for rocks with other kids in the neighborhood or ice skating on the pond at the end of the point, and I feel a pang of sorrow that they will never have these memories. It’s not just because we moved to L.A. - they were city girls in Frederick too. While we had access to hiking and camping, they could never head out the backdoor and find themselves in the woods and the only lake we frequented was man-made and a twenty minute drive from our house.

But I suppose I could title this entry “apples and oranges” too because, of course, there are benefits to living in a more urban area and they have memories that I never had. They have all the advantages of living in a city - they can walk to both school and friends’ houses, which is wonderful now but will be even more beneficial when they are teenagers. They are exposed to more diversity than I was growing up. If we are looking to see other children, we can just head to the park and immediately they will find playmates. They also have access to nature, just in a different way. In Frederick, it was weekend trips to the woods. Here, we can either walk over to the canyon for a nature hike or head to Malibu, where we spent two days in a row this week. The only way I can describe the girls at the beach is pure joy. Toby calls them sandpipers, as they run in and out of the waves, filled with excitement. This past weekend, they built sand sculptures with my mom, dared each other to grab rocks as the waves receded and looked for crabs and different species of birds.

Given that we use it still in our family, they might continue the tradition of growing up thinking “parkle” is a real word. Lucy’s word for snuggle, “nuggu”, might make it out of childhood as well. Mostly what I hope for them is that they carry out of childhood memories that they cherish, that they wish everyone could have experienced because it was just so wonderful. I don’t know if it will be hiking or playing at the beach or something else entirely, but watching them play in the waves I realize that it might not be Lake Champlain, but it’s still something really good.