The talk

Well, there's a rose in a fisted glove
And the eagle flies with the dove
And if you can't be with the one you love, honey
Love the one you're with
- Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

OK, Los Angeles, we've been together for almost a year now and it looks like we're not going anywhere anytime soon. I think we're at the point in our relationship where we need to have a talk. You know, the kind of talk where we talk about where we've been and where we're going? Yeah, that one.

So we've had our ups and downs this past year. It's not really your fault. Seriously. I'm not placing blame. I know I haven't always been the easiest to deal with. I met you when I was already in a really good relationship and rebounds are always rough. Plus, you were honest with me from the beginning. You never pretended you weren't a smoker. I saw the smog the first time the plane started to land. It's actually been quite clear all winter but I know how old habits die hard. The summer's coming and the smog will be back. You were upfront about the traffic too. Sure, I didn't expect to be run off the road anytime I attempted to ride my bike, but I knew you weren't healthy. That's alright. I mean, I'll work with you on getting a few more trees planted and voting on some stronger environmental laws, but I know you're not changing those habits anytime soon.

I should let you know that you have some wonderful qualities that I wasn't even expecting. Thank you for that. The weather has been beyond expectations. And, while I was excited about the beaches, I never knew how many beautiful places Malibu would offer, like the tidal pools at Point Dume. I thought you'd have some good mountains, but I didn't know that I'd be able to run up a trail from right behind my house where I'd be able to see both hummingbirds and various B-list celebrities on the trail while enjoying views of snow-capped mountains. All the hiking trails around here are amazing and yet, despite your 15 million residents, we've had them mostly to ourselves. That's been nice too. Though maybe it says a little bit about the culture, but I'm getting to that.

So culturally I don't think anyone's going to argue that we're a great match. In fact, Lucy's preschool director has asked me about five times what we are doing exactly living here. I came from a town where we got together with huge groups on the weekends for barbecues in the park or parties (with kids running around) at friends' homes. The struggle to find a community like that has been a challenge and I think it comes from both the city's layout and the general culture.

Still, I've got to give you some props. When we first moved here, you sent over two adorable kids from next door bearing cookies. For the past year, the girls have spent countless hours with them, hunting for snails, playing in the tree house, and sleeping over at each others' houses. I am always thankful for that. Meeting Sarah and Jane has been incredible too. The nights out, afternoons at the park, kid swaps and Friday afternoon "wine & cheese play dates" with them have all kept me sane and happy throughout the year. There's also our weekend camping team, the wonderful people we've met through Lucy's school, and recently a baby book club starting in our neighborhood.

But if we're going to continue this relationship, I'm going to have to ask for a little bit more. You're not a small town, you're a big city, so I can't really expect you to offer the sense of community that I had before. In Frederick, every person you run into you will see again and again and again, like it or not, and that pretty much forces you to befriend everyone you meet. But I feel like our neighborhood here should come together more than just once a year at the Fourth of July parade. I'd like to be able to walk through the streets near our house and know that there are at least 15 homes that I could walk into at anytime, knowing the families well. I know you're going to be lazy about this. I recognize that this is going to take effort on my part. It's easy, once you've lived somewhere for a year, to just get comfortable in a routine and not work towards making things better but I'm vowing now not to do that. If we are still together a year from now, I'd like to be writing about how, even in the middle of this crazy, big city, we found a really strong community that just grew and grew.

So L.A., looking forward, I hope we can be on the same page. I know it's probably not easy for you - I've been open about the fact that I don't see this as a lifetime commitment - but I think we can work together to have another really good year. I'm just asking you to keep the sun shining, the beaches clean, the earthquakes small and an open mind about our relationship. I'll do the rest of the work.