New Year, Less Stuff

My new year began with a burning bowl ceremony in a yoga studio in Weaverville, North Carolina. (Well, technically I guess 2011 began on a dance floor in Asheville at 12:01 am, but that doesn't have quite the same ring to it). The instructor handed us each a sheet of paper and asked us what we’d like to release in 2011. Our answers were burned together in a bowl and sent out to the universe. And so, as the universe already knows, this year I am releasing stuff.

By stuff, I mean junk, crap, clutter, what I see when I walk into the girls' room and look at the floor and what is surrounding my computer on my desk right now. In Kingston's book Clear Your Clutter With Feng Shui, she explains that "any kind of clutter creates an obstacle to the smooth flow of energy around a space. This in turn creates stuckness and/or confusion in the lives of the occupants". With three growing girls, we have a lot of energy around our space. Keeping it flowing smoothly seems like a good idea to me.

To add to my desire to get rid of clutter, we are moving into a not-so-big house in May (fortunately just down the street this time). So now, along with seeing every pile of clutter on the floor as blocking our energy, I also am starting to see it as something I'm going to have to physically move. It's amazing how quickly that detaches you from objects.

I have to say, as far as resolutions go, I am off to a good start this year. Last week, I took three garbage bags full of clothing to Goodwill and I already have two more in the car. Today we sold a television and two car seats on Craig’s List. And is energy flowing smoothly around the house? It is! I can actually walk into the girls' room and feel peaceful.

But I recognize that this is January. It's Resolution Month. The month when optimistic exercisers burn calories on every machine at the gym and packs full of cigarettes are tossed hopefully into the trash. The challenge is to keep this up all year and beyond. I am determined to do it. I have visions of more trips to Goodwill, more books checked out and then returned to the library, fewer purchases of things we don't actually need. And I am finally going to sort through that junk room in the basement.

The only thing that has me a little worried is that as I was writing this, I started to think that I might have written about having too much stuff at some point before. Sure enough, two and a half years ago I made this same announcement. And two and a half years and two moves later, we definitely do have less stuff than we did then, but it's starting to creep up on us again and I can't say that I've held firm in my less stuff commitment.

But then again, I didn't release my intention into the universe in a burning bowl ceremony either. And so, 2011, with the universe behind me, I now pronounce you the year of less stuff.

And if any of you are find yourself in Weaverville, North Carolina anytime soon, I know of a great little yoga studio.

The Next Stage

This morning I filled three garbage bags with clothing for Goodwill. The clothes range from size "newborn" to 2T and each item brought back a flood of memories. Glover Park t-shirts, Frederick soccer uniforms, much loved leotards and princess t-shirts... I pulled out the ones that felt particularly significant, like the pink and black skirt that Evie wore daily for nearly a year, but the rest are off to be released into the world. For the first time, I am not saving the smaller sizes to be passed down to a little sister. I felt a stir of emotions as I filled up the bags, but they weren't the emotions I was expecting.

For the past nine years, I have devoted my life to raising three daughters. I also went to grad school and wrote two books. But, if you took snapshots of me moment to moment over the past nine years, you would see me wiping a nose here, pushing a swing there, changing a diaper here, and giving a hug there. I have been very busy with all the very busy things that one does when raising toddlers. It's not that, as a mother, I'm not doing any of those things any more just because the girls are older. It's just that recently I find myself more often planning activities for Lucy's Brownie troop or teaching Evie's math league or listening to Lucy read or helping Evie think up arguments for a debate or driving to soccer or ballet or piano or drama or science seekers or gymnastics... I'm still busy raising them, but it's different.

This difference struck me a few weeks ago when I spend the weekend in Boston with five friends from college and three babies. I watched them nursing and snuggling and calming their babies. I remember that stage so well. There were nights when Evie was up screaming for three hours and I found myself in tears thinking this stage will never ever end. And then there was her first smile and her first laugh and I found myself praying that this stage will never ever end.

But it did. It does. That's the way life works of course. Now my first baby is learning about elastic potential energy, my second baby can read and ride a bike and my third baby goes to preschool and didn't even need to sit on my lap during Tangled. This is the though that, while folding tiny t-shirts, I expected to bring me to tears.

Here's the thing though. I love this stage. I love that we can all go skiing or hike up Sanitas together. I love that I spent the morning in a debate with Evie and Lucy over whether it's better to be a werewolf, vampire or ghost (in case you're wondering, I'm going with werewolf) and that we'll spend the afternoon at the Nutcracker. Do I miss the snuggly, sweet stage of raising babies? Of course. But while I look older nine years later, I'm also realizing that I'm suddenly feeling younger than I've felt in a long while. I'm getting more sleep and more exercise and I'm finding more time to pursue interests that have gotten dusty over the past nine years.

Looking at those bags, I can't help but feel nostalgic at all the memories that go along with the stained and worn clothing in them. But part of me feels that, by pulling those clothes out of closets and the basement and releasing them into the world, we have made a little more room for ourselves at this stage of our lives. And to tell you the truth, that feels like a wonderful thing.