Old School

On Friday, my friend Sarah called me and told me to check our mailbox. We were at the park and hadn't checked the mail before we left. She explained that her daughter Ada, one of Lucy's best friends, had received a postcard from Mrs. Y. welcoming her to her class this year and she wanted to know if Lucy had received the same card. Lucy couldn't wait to get home. Not only would a postcard mean she and Ada would be in class together, but her 8-year-old friend Sophia had Mrs. Y. in first grade and told Lucy that had to get her, that she is the best teacher and that Mrs. Y. would give her a hug everyday when she left school. When we got home, Lucy ran to the mailbox. She peeked inside and then let out a shout and waved the postcard victoriously over her head yelling, "I'm with Ada! I'm with Ada! And we got the huggy teacher!"

Judging by the crowd at the girls' school when they posted the classroom placement list later that day, classroom placement is important to a lot of families. But after having moved the girls to a different state and, of course, a different school, two years in a row, there was something especially beautiful to me in the joy the girls expressed about being in class with friends. Like Lucy, it turns out that Evie will have some of her best friends in her class. She also got the teacher she had been hoping to get all summer. She too responded by jumping up and down and screaming with delight.

Last week, Evie and a friend giggled and chatted in the back of the car as I drove them to go hiking. Then her friend told Evie that she is feeling sad because she just found out she'll be moving to a different school this year. Evie, instantly serious, turned to her and said, "I know exactly how you feel. That is really, really hard." As a parent, I will never forget Evie coming home from school in Los Angeles and telling me that no one noticed her at recess. And I'll never forget walking home last year, teary and worried at the thought of her experiencing that once again.

On Monday, the girls will enter their classrooms to be greeted by hugs from their friends. And I will walk home from dropping them off, thinking about Lucy waving her postcard in the air.
















Lucy and Ada camping this summer

Home Sweet Los Angeles

Yesterday afternoon, five second grade girls came over to our house. I had invited all six of the girls in Evie's class to come over a few weeks ago, days after her comment about feeling unnoticed at recess, but hadn’t actually expected such an enthusiastic response. I was initially excited that she would have an opportunity to get to know her classmates better, but as the day approached, I began to feel a little nervous about having them all here. I wasn’t concerned with the chaos - in Frederick, we had parties with seventy-five people where the children outnumbered the adults. As the scribbles on our walls and stains on the couches clearly show, chaos has long been the norm in our family. But after hearing about Evie‘s shyness around her classmates at recess, I began to imagine them all as something out of a bad Hannah Montana episode. I envisioned them sitting around the table, sighing with boredom, and excluding Evie from their pre-teen conversation.

Fortunately, my vision was shattered even by the time we walked the two blocks home. The girls held hands with each other, easily dividing into partners with no hurt feelings, and spent the way home talking about how excited they were for a play date. I could tell this was a group of sweet, fun and basically typical girls. Of course I shouldn’t say “typical” , as they are obviously all unique - there is funny and somewhat bossy Jessica, quiet and thoughtful Julia, energetic Charlotte (who demonstrated a full split and numerous back walk-overs in our living room), chatty and cheerful Joy and studious and shy Nicolette - but they fell into the role of typical seven-year-old play with ease. They sat at the table, eating snacks and singing to Camp Rock. They dove right into imaginative play, with Jessica turning into the queen of the tree house and the other girls dividing into messengers and servants and pets for the queen. They built crowns out of pipe cleaners and showed each other songs they knew on the piano. And all the while, Evie was completely part of the group, hugging and giggling and playing.

When the girls’ parents came to pick them up, each one mentioned getting together again in the future. This afternoon, when I picked Evie up from school, she told me that the best part of the day was recess. The girls in her class started a "hopscotch club" and were planning on meeting to play hopscotch every day from now on.

We are still adjusting to life in a new city. We will always miss our friends and family and we have a ways to go still in creating a complete community for ourselves here, but with the recess issue resolved, I feel like all three of the girls are happy and that is a huge start to making Los Angeles feel like home.

First Impressions

It is a long way to Los Angeles from Frederick when you're carrying a 9 month old, especially if you've been up all night with one daughter throwing up and another daughter who kicks in her sleep. Especially if you love your little town with all of your heart and with each passing minute it just seems further and further away. And if you are struggling to keep still a wiggling, screaming baby whose ears are bothering her, and look out the window and see that you are descending into a giant brown cloud you would probably do what I did: lay my head against the window and think, shit.

The thought didn't dissipate immediately. I'll fast forward through the long wait at the baggage claim, the even longer line at the car rental place, the car in standstill on the clogged, dirty freeway and the greeting by the way-too-attractive receptionist at the office because my sentiment remained the same. I think Toby knew it was better not to say anything at all because he whisked me out of the office, got me some food, and we drove in silence to the hotel. I looked out the window and counted the signs along the road advertising the "bodies" exhibit at a local museum. You know the one - where they have a bunch of dead people posed in different positions. If you saw the 60 Minutes about it, you also know that those dead people come from a warehouse in China and the exhibit is basically about as low as society can possibly stoop. Okay, so logically I know that same exhibit came to D.C. But as we were driving through L.A. I couldn't help thinking that the whole city seemed soulless and dirty.

So my first impression wasn't so good.

Anyone who knows me well, knows that a good meal can change my whole attitude on life. After some food (and realizing I'd had none my whole trip out to L.A.) and a little retail therapy, I felt much better. I then went back to the hotel room and indulged in four back-to-back Sex In The City episodes, where Carrie does some retail therapy of her own in Paris, though she leaves with about 20 bags from Yves Saint Laurent, where I spent $84 at H&M (bargain hunters will appreciate: two skirts, two shirts and a pair of pants for $84!) O.K., so Carrie ultimately decides the move is a bad idea, but my Mr. Big is moving out here with me, I speak the language and already have some friends in L.A. (You can see, the food helped.)

The next day, I felt even better. It's hard to be in a bad mood on in sunny, 70 degree weather. I began my tour of L.A. public schools that have been ranked a "10" by greatschools.net. At the first school I visited, in Hancock Park, I was greeted by the principal who reminded me of my old boss, Juana Brown, at Sacred Heart - she had a warm smile and a passion for all things education. As she walked me around the open "halls" with art-covered walls and students planting a garden, I began to picture us living in California and it started to look much better. At Ivanhoe Elementary, in Silver Lake, my tour guide talked about the gifted and talented program there and the strong parental involvement. By the time I reached Carpenter Elementary, in Studio City, where the classrooms were bursting with color from student artwork, I was considerably impressed with the L.A. public schools.

I liked Studio City immediately. It feels a little bit removed from the city, there are great stores, parks and nice neighborhoods all within walking distance of each other. When Toby and I ate at the diner there the next morning, we met a woman (and fellow BC alum) with her daughter in a stroller who talked about the story time at the bookstore every day, the children's bike parade on the fourth of July, the community of parents in the area...I was sold.

To bring it back to shopping, it's usually a good idea to check the price tag before falling in love with a dress. Studio City isn't exactly H&M. We are still reeling a bit from looking at prices, but as far all L.A. goes, it is apparently considered reasonable. I can picture us living there and am hopeful that we can figure it out.

Coming home to cherry blossoms, my mom watching the girls, good friends and our house, the hesitation about moving came flooding back and continues to come back in waves every once and a while. But when I start thinking that way, I remind myself of two things. First, I remember talking to Diana the other day and expressing my concern about moving. She reminded me, "But you loved California." I keep thinking about that - about the vacation lifestyle, the trips to the beach, the incredible hiking and parks nearby and about how resistant I was to coming back east ten years ago. I also think of my dad's toast at our wedding to me and Toby, which was to a life of adventure together. His toast came fresh off the heels of a year in Ecuador and San Francisco, and a life of adventure was a lot easier to picture before we had kids. But when we were out in Los Angeles, walking in the sun and checking out the neighborhoods while talking about what our future holds, it brought me back to Ecuador and to our relationship then, when we had a million things to figure out and were so excited about figuring them out together. It's a good feeling, one that brings us closer, and I think will bring our whole family closer together as well.

So we're off to our west coast adventure. I think that we'll have a lot more ups and downs than in our normal routine, but that's what will make it memorable. And, in case I forget, this blog is to help me remember our journey!